


Evil Black Licorice

by readbycandlelight



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, One Shot, One True Pairing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-19 05:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readbycandlelight/pseuds/readbycandlelight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little fluffy Darcy/Loki oneshot written for amidtheflowers and other little drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Evil Black Licorice

\------------------------------

Darcy was waiting for Loki’s reaction through narrowed eyes.

He chewed slowly, his sharply angled jaw flexing as he stared back at Darcy with an expressionless mask painted on his features.

“Well?” Darcy asked grimly, when she couldn’t wait any longer.

“It is… palatable enough,” he said after a lengthy pause. He reached for another dark vine out of the plastic container, and bit into it with a vigor that gave away his true enjoyment of the bittersweet treat.

Darcy’s face scrunched up in disgust. “After all of the things I’ve had you try - like Poptarts and gelato and cookies and sooo many other yummy treats that you flat out refused to like - this is what you enjoy? Black licorice? You are evil.”

“Or perhaps you just have an unrefined palate,” Loki quipped as he pulled several more pieces of black licorice out of the container.

“No,” Darcy said point-blank. “You’re just evil. And I refuse to kiss you ever, ever again.”

Loki rose a finely-arched black eyebrow. He finished off a half-eaten piece of black licorice and set the others on the glass coffee table. “Is that so?” he asked in that soft and lethal tone of his. The tone Darcy knew he always used when she was about to get it. The sound of shifting material rent through the air as he leaned into her space on the couch, trapping her in between the barriers of his Asgardian armor clad arms.

“Yes, it is so,” Darcy said solemnly, leaning further into the couch, only the tiniest impish grin giving away her playfulness. “I am not kissing you. You have evil black licorice breath.”

“I think,” he said, leaning in dangerously close to her face. “That I may…” Their lips were now brushing the slightest bit as he spoke, sending chills of pleasure through Darcy. She shuddered. He grinned victoriously. “…be able to get you to like it.” Darcy softly shook her head no with a smile firmly planted on her plush lips as Loki nodded his head yes challengingly.

He pressed fully into her lips and she let him. He tasted sweet and bitter and was doing wondrous things with that silver tongue of his. Darcy didn’t mind his evil black licorice breath at all. But she knew that she wouldn’t mind from the very beginning - and she knew that Loki knew that fact too by the way he was grinning into the kiss as he caressed her tongue with his. Smug evil bastard. Things were just getting heated to the point of Loki groaning into her mouth and sliding his hand up into her shirt…when a hard feminine voice interrupted their languor.

“Whose been eating my black licorice?” the Black Widow asked in her most deadly tone as she entered the Avengers common room.

Darcy and Loki pulled their lips apart from their positions on the couch, both looking slightly stunned by the caustic interruption.

…Had Darcy forgotten to mention that the black licorice she’d had him try out was from Natasha Romanoff’s secret stash? Whoopsies.

“It was Loki,” she said, unrepentant, as the redheaded SHIELD agent sent Loki a death glare.

Maybe *I’m* the evil one, Darcy thought with a grin as she let her demi-god boyfriend take the heat for her black licorice stealing.

Fin


	2. Percentages

**Percentages**

"I am convinced that I am the lovechild of Paula Deen and Tony Stark," Darcy said to Loki as she added more butter to the pasta she was making. Lots and lots and lots more butter.

Tony scrunched his facial features in deep thought at this from his seated position on the couch. “I am seventy-nine percent sure that isn’t possible.”

“Seventy-nine percent sure?” Pepper asked archly, stopping her action of pouring wine in wine glasses for her and her friends.

"Pep, you know I can’t recall the 90’s… Or the 80’s."

"You can’t recall last weekend when I found you passed out on the pool table in drag and scuba diving gear.”

Darcy couldn’t hide her indelicate snort. Beside her, Loki rose a piquant eyebrow.

Tony gave Pepper that mock-guilty-but-really-shit-eating-grin that only Tony Stark could pull off. “Come on, Pep. Seventy-nine percent! The odds are ever in your favor.”

"Oh, really? That’s nice. Well the odds are one-hundred percent in your favor that you’ll be sleeping on that couch tonight. Or the pool table. Your pick," Pepper said with a winning smile.  
Tony’s grin turned petulant.

"So since there’s a twenty-one percent chance that I’m your illicit lovechild, can I have twenty-one percent of my inheritance?" Darcy asked with a grin that was a little too Stark-like for comfort.

Tony’s eyes narrowed on Darcy. “First thing tomorrow…I’m getting a paternity test.”

**Fin**

 

 **A/N:** This was written before the whole Paula Deen scandal... So, yeeeeah.


	3. Big Blue and Loki's Sex Kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title has little to do with this work. It's just what I think Loki and Darcy's bowling names would be XD

“Darcy… We need to discuss where we stand.”

 

“Ooh, ‘The Talk’?” Darcy asked, scrunching her nose in distaste. “Didn’t we already do that? We broke up, remember?” she said breezily, picking up one of the two black menus on the table. They were written in French and there were no prices. Which meant this meal was definitely going to be pricey. Good.

 

“I felt like we came more to a misunderstanding.” Loki sounded frustrated. Also good.

 

Darcy looked around at the restaurant Loki had chosen for their “talk.” The lighting was dim, candles flickered and shone like fireflies at every table, and a soft jazz beat lulled the room into a romantic haze. “I don’t know about how you guys roll in Asgard, but here on earth we generally don’t take our exes to romantic restaurants. It gives out mix signals. You know what doesn’t give out mixed signals? Bowling alleys. With stale nachos and even staler shoe rentals.”

 

“We. Haven’t. Parted. Ways.”

 

“Have you two decided on what you’d like to eat?” their waiter asked brightly; though as soon as he caught sight of Loki’s death-glare he looked ready to bolt.

 

“Yeah, actually,” Darcy cut in. “I’ll have the most expensive item on the menu, thanks.”

 

“O-ok. A-and you, s-sir?”

 

Loki’s jaw had tensed at the interruption. He had to take a cleansing breath to calm himself before he could order, making the long lines of his throat work. It reminded Darcy of the way he would tense in anticipation right when she was about to go down on hi- Well, it reminded her of the past. Loki ended up ordering something in flawless French.

 

…Making Darcy discreetly swallow past the lump that instantly developed in her throat. Damn him and his expert command of languages. Especially French. He knew that was her weakness. She regretted whispering it to him one night while they had been entwined in her bed and she had told him to whisper something to her in every language he knew. He knew them all. Especially French.

 

Because of the way she reacted to it.

 

Hot. Wet. Undulating. Their hips circling and thrusting in a heated rhythm as ‘Je t’aime je t’aime je t’aime’ spilled from his lips.

 

Darcy came back to herself as the waiter asked for her menu. Loki was studying her from across the table, deftly handing his menu over without breaking eye contact with her. One side of his mouth was beginning to lift in a victory smirk.

 

Darcy couldn’t have that. She reminded herself that he may have said ‘je t’aime’ to her a million times but he had never once outright said ‘I love you.’ And that meant something. Je t’aime could almost be like a roleplay thing, but I love you….that was in her language and he had never said it. “So he’s pretty cute,” she found herself saying, nodding towards the retreating waiter (even though she hadn’t really taken notice of what he had looked like). “I’m thinking I should totally ask him out.”

 

The smirk instantly dropped. “Why would you say such a thing?”

 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because of my low birth.” She took a large drink of the red wine that had been poured into her wine glass. “Isn’t that how you put it? You couldn’t believe you had feelings for a Midgardian of low birth? Someone who is below you.”

 

“That is not what I said.”

 

“But it’s what you meant.” And stupid freakin’ tears started to blur her vision. “C’mon, Loki, admit it. You were just dying to tell me six weeks ago about all this. About how stupid my job is, and how amazingly slim my vocabulary is. Not to mention you hate the way I dress. God, I’m amazed we’re even sitting here! Why are we sitting here?” She made to get up.

 

“Because I meant none of those things,” he said, the words ripping out of his chest. It stilled her. “I missed you. You were working all the time. I… lashed out. I wanted you, but I said all the wrong things. It was wretched of me and I admit it; but do not pass judgment on me as if you have never said the wrong thing.”

 

That last part flared her anger again. “Apparently I’ve hardly ever said the right thing because my limited vocabulary stunts me!”

 

This time she made it up from her seat and out of the restaurant. The New York night was filled with lights and people. Her vision was blurring from her tears; a mixture of darkness and twinkling neon colors. She made her way out of the trendy area and went down a quiet side street where brownstone homes were. With a weary sniff and a scrubbing at her eyes, she plopped down on a stranger’s stoop. Loki, who had to stay back to pay for their uneaten meal, materialized a few feet away.

 

“Perhaps a public outing was not the best idea for a reconciliation,” he said softly.

 

“You have no idea the kind of stress I’m under,” Darcy burst out.

 

“I know,” he started to agree softly.

 

“No, you don’t. You think I just get Jane coffee and throw sassy zingers at Tony Stark all day, but that’s not how it goes. There’s so many moving parts to what Jane does, and I’m the one that has to keep it all running smoothly. I may not be the genius, but I am smart, and Jane wouldn’t even eat or sleep or put on matching shoes if it weren’t for me.”

 

“…I know.”

 

“Is that all you’re going to say, ‘I know’?”

 

“No. I am also going to say I am sorry, I was wrong to say those things to you in anger, and please come back to me.”

 

It was like the wind was knocked out of her. ‘I’m sorry’ was another phrase she’d never heard him say before. But it couldn’t be that easy. She crossed her arms defensively over her chest while she looked up at him from her seated position. “What you said really hurt me. How am I suppose to know you won’t do it again the next time I can’t hang out because of work deadlines? And quitting my job isn’t an option. I don’t care if you’re a prince from outer space with a limitless income. I won’t be a kept woman or whatever you call it.”

 

Something totally amazing happened then: he dropped to his knees in front of her. Right there on the pavement in his expensive suit. Now she was the one higher on her stoop-throne. Her eyebrows arched up in surprise. “What are you doing?”

 

“Declaring my love for you,” he said with a roguish grin.

 

“Wha—”

 

“These past six weeks without you have been something I never want to endure again,” he said, reaching up to smooth a lock of hair behind her ear. The gesture was sweet, intimate. It touched her. “I have come to realise that there is a hollow in my life now that all of your horrid sweaters do not litter my floor, nor are there crass jokes and laughter in my bed. I crave the scent of your coffee breath, even though I loathe coffee. I even miss the way you bring stray animals to my apartment.” This made her laugh. “Most of all,” he said next in a whisper; the words naked and raw, “I miss the way you would not blink an eye at my true form. I miss the way you demand I show my true self to you. I miss that you make me honest. If you take me back, I promise not to be so selfish or cutting with my words. If you take me back, I promise to tell you I love you every day, starting now: I love you. I love you I love you I love you.”

 

“Hmm,” Darcy said, trying to act nonchalant - but an uncontrollable smile was twitching on her full lips and her heart was racing. “I love you too… And think you should totally keep declaring your love for me on our way to the bowling alley. Nachos and ‘I love you’s’ go perfect together in my opinion.”

 

~Fin~


	4. CONGRATS!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is how you know I have angtsy fics I should be working on - I start whipping out fluffy drabbles to deal with the feels. 
> 
> Also, I noticed there's a theme that connects all these drabbles - food. So I had to add a little somethin' somethin' to this fic to keep the theme going. This time it's chocolate :)

**CONGRATS!**

* * *

 

Loki was outside of the Avenger’s Tower, waiting by the curb as Darcy’s text had requested. Mere moments later Darcy came to a halt at the curb in a sleek silver automobile. “Get in loser,” she said from behind dark sunglasses. “We’re going on a road trip.”

Loki rolled his eyes but was thrumming with excitement as he got in the passenger seat none-the-less. Darcy was always full of surprises. It drove him wild. “Where did this come from?” he asked, sliding his hand along the expensive leather interior admiringly. It was much nicer than the van filled with scientific equipment that Darcy had been driving around when he first met her.

“My boss,” Darcy said with a giddy smile, looking at Loki over the edge of her sunglasses. “Like it? It’s a Tesla Roadster. Pepper gave it to me as a bonus for being such a good executive assistant.”

“I do,” he said, though his attention was already diverted by the gleam in her eyes, the elegant cut of her new fringe, the tight pencil skirt that contoured to her flared hips… In a word, Loki was riveted by Darcy. Always. And most especially now as she was growing into herself. The allure of her new professional look was quite intoxicating, but that was not nearly it for Loki; he was drawn to this new glow she exuded, a certain serenity. When he held her at night and she told him the stress was finally melting away because she could pay off student loans he felt...happy. Happy that she was happy. It was strange and overwhelming that one being could so effortlessly hold so much power over him. And it was only getting worse. He found that he could no longer hold to pretense. The fact was that he could not sleep without her in his arms. It was like an icy chasm would settle inside his chest if he lay in bed alone. He hardly ever slept at his apartment anymore.

“Here we are,” said Darcy, abruptly pulling Loki from his thoughts. He blinked several times, adjusting to the panoramic view of pine trees surrounding a cozy wooden cabin. “Ok, so, confession time,” Darcy continued as she turned off the motor. “This isn’t a random road trip.”

“Oh?” he asked, an anticipatory grin forming on his lips.

“But it’s not what you think either. This cabin isn’t for us. We’re here to help Thor out.”

“ _Thor_?” The name was grit out. This was the last thing he ever wanted or expected to hear her say. Any and all thoughts of him spreading Darcy’s lovely naked body out on every available surface in the cabin were suddenly dashed. “What has this to do with Thor?”

“Right now he’s currently wining and dining Jane in the city, and then he’s going to bring her here to pop the question. They’re getting engaged.”

_They’re getting engaged._

_They’re getting engaged._

_They’re getting engaged._

It was as if the words existed in a vacuum. In that moment time was suspended and those words were the only thing that he could ponder, though his mental faculties seemed frozen so the words blared blankly in his head.

“...This could be the last time I do something ridiculously personal for Jane before they go to Asgard, you know?” came Darcy’s voice, softened by nostalgia.

Loki again found himself ripped from his thoughts and placed back in the present. They were in the cabin, which turned out to be like a loft on the inside. It was a one room open concept with warm exposed wood, a giant fireplace, and an even more impressively sized bed. Supplies were surrounding their feet. Darcy was pulling out a box.

"Like this,” she said, smiling in amusement at the box. “Remember when I was Jane’s assistant and I was constantly sticking condoms in her wallet and taping them to Thor’s armor and mew-mew? Heh. Good times... Do you think this is gonna be enough condoms?" she questioned, shaking the extremely large box of condoms.

"Are those _our_ condoms?" Loki asked darkly, his eyes narrowed.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Oh, _relax_ , will you? No, they're not our condoms. This is an unopened box. See? Jeez, what is it with you and this eternal pissing contest you have with Thor? You do realize you're the only one competing, right? Thor is like a big blonde loyal puppy that gives you googly eyes even when you kick him. You really should give him a break. And a hug. You guys don't hug enou--"

"So what is it that you want me to help you with?" Loki asked, pointedly changing the subject.

Darcy gave him an exasperated expression before gesturing to all the candles in the room. "Light 'em up!"

They both set to their prospective tasks. Darcy scattered crimson rose petals all over the bed and every available surface while Loki conjured a flame in his palm (to which Darcy yelled 'show off!') and set all the candles alight. By the time he was done with that he turned to find Darcy grabbing fistfuls of condoms and arranging them in some kind of strategic way on the dresser next to the bed. Loki approached and saw over her shoulder that she was forming the abbreviated word ' **CONGRATS!** ' He gave what could only be described as a very un-Lokilike snort. Darcy was rubbing off on him.

"What?" Darcy said with an impish smirk. "Come on, this is _me_ we're talking about here. I have to put my own personal Darcy touch on it," she explained as she continued her masterpiece.

Loki reached over her and plucked up the square foil that she had just put down as the dot on the exclamation point.

"Hey!" She turned around and was trapped between him and the dresser.

"What say we test out this lovely bed that you've worked so hard on, hmm?"

" _I_ say _you're_ thinking with your _hard-on_ , lover boy," she shot back, wrapping her hand around the hard flesh through the cloth of his pants, stroking briefly. He gasped and bucked. Darcy used his distraction, standing on her tip toes and stealing the condom back from him to place it on its original spot on the dresser.

His head dropped to her shoulder; he shook it softly as he chuckled lowly. "You cruel minx. I want you."

"Correction - you want to fuck me on Thor's engagement bed because in some weird way in that twisted mind of yours it would be like getting back at Thor in said eternal pissing contest."

Loki looked nonplussed for a moment, searching her face until his features melted into an expression of amazement. "Well now I just want to fuck you because you are much too clever."

Darcy laughed. "Nice try, bud. Really. But no dice. It’s totally against the Bro Code to do a chick on a bro’s engagement bed.”

“I saw you eat a chocolate you had placed on one of the pillows when you thought I was not looking. Does that also go against your absurd code of ethics?”

“That’s not the same thing!” she exclaimed self-righteously, though her cheeks did pinken a bit in embarrassment at being caught. “Finding chocolate wrappers would _so_ not be as bad as finding used condom wrappers.”

“Darcy.”

“What?”

“I want you.”

“Well too ba--”

“--even if it is not on the bed,” he finished saying.

Whatever witty comeback was on the tip of Darcy’s tongue seemed to die. Her bright eyes were wide, searching.

And here it was, the avalanche of emotions that had been threatening to spill out for so long.

“Being with you has been the most absurd, maddening, and wonderful thing I have ever been a part of. And it is going so _fast_. Do you feel it? How when you are happy the moments seem to go within a blink of an eye? Especially for someone like me. A mortal lifetime is but a brief moment. And I am nothing if not greedy. I want to experience everything with you in this small slip of time. It eats at me every night that I am alone in my bed with my thoughts. It feels like time wasted. But I have been guarded with these thoughts because this is the one area I could not read you on. You seem content with our courtship, though it has not changed in years, and yet here you are gushing over every advancement in Jane and Thor’s relationship. ‘ _They’re moving in together!_ ’” he said in an imitation of Darcy. “‘ _They’re buying a toaster!’ ‘They’re getting engaged!_ ’”

“Well I ship them,” Darcy mumbled.

“Yes, that is all well and good, but what of us?”

“You...want to move in together?” Darcy hedged.

“That would be a _start_ ,” he said, very pointedly.

“You want to...to, uh…”

“ _Yes_. I do.”

Darcy bit her lip. His word choice was not lost on her. She looked like her head was reeling. “Did we just get engaged?”

He thought of something, and felt a thrill. “Wait here!” He materialized back within a matter of moments. With a ring. “This was my mother’s.”

Darcy was shaking as he slipped it on her left ring finger. “Oh my god. Oh my god. You _asshole!_ ” For a moment he thought it had all gone wrong, but then-- “This was your mother’s,” she said in a reverent whisper, tears spilling from her eyes. “It’s perfect.”

He could not help but laugh at her very Darcylike reaction and pulled her into his arms. “I feel now we are engaged?” It was a question. He needed to hear her say--

“Yes,” she said, laughing and crying at the same time. “Holy shit, this is really happening. We’re engaged… And in Thor and Jane’s love den,” she said, looking around and remembering herself. “Do you think they’ll mind?”

“Who cares?”

Darcy gave him ‘The Look.’

“That is to say, perhaps we will keep this our little secret for a few weeks before we announce it?”

She nodded, seeming mollified by this. She looked longingly towards the bed. “But now I wish we had our own love den so I could ravish my fiance.”

Her words sent his blood racing. “How much time do we have before they are here?”

‘The Look’ was back. “Don’t even think about it.” Suddenly her features morphed into mischievousness. Oh, but that was his absolute favorite look of hers. She plucked the condom back up. “But I have an idea. Race you to my new car!”

 

 

* * *

 

 Jane paused for a second as she shut her car door, pulling her eyes away from her engagement ring for the first time to survey the woods surrounding the picturesque cabin. “Do you hear that?” she giggled, turning to Thor. He immediately scooped her up. “Ooh! Sounds like love is in the air!”

Thor paused with her in his arms to listen. The sound of something large and metal in the distance squeaking fast in an all too familiar rhythm had him grinning widely. He had a fairly good notion as to who the merrymakers were. “Whoever they are they have the right notion,” he said, whisking his betrothed into the cabin.

 

~ **Fin** ~


End file.
